kficanon | part twenty five

part twenty five

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i think i'm being oversensitive but idk

i went to this event with my friends and we were playing drinking games so i had to buy a drink. this other guy on my table wanted to get one as well, so we talked at the bar and he bought me my drink. i thought he was cute and i told this friend of mine this in the toilet and when we went back to the table, she sat next to him and picked him for the drinking game while i was sitting next to him on his other side the entire time. before he left i think they exchanged numbers and my friend knows how insecure i am with life and guys especially and i have no idea if she did it intentionally because it would be such a low blow because i'm still thinking about it and i can't get over it

don't ever tell other girls when you're interested in a guy, friend or not

the biggest lesson i've learnt that night, on top of there is no such thing as absolute trust

da and mountains out of molehills, anon

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(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 03:58 (UTC) - Expand

talk to her about it but remember, it's not necessarily a confrontation.

i don't want to and can't because of reasons. i acted fine during the event and she's been messaging me and i've been really cool but i don't think she thinks anything is wrong

imo it was a bitch move but i wouldn't blame her because everyone views things differently, which isn't to say she wouldn't take into account that you feel hurt about it.

if i was your friend i'd rather know now than have you simmer about it for days, without a clue as to why, maybe with you (unintentionally) being passive-aggressive in the process.

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(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 03:50 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 03:54 (UTC) - Expand

i... kinda count that as oversensitive? not that your friend wasn't being inconsiderate, but you can't really... call dibs on people just because you noticed they were cute first. talk to your friend about it if you can, but really, it's just a guy who i guess isn't too close to you in the first place? i'm sorry if this sounds harsh orz if this friend seems to have done things like this repeatedly though (that is, being inconsiderate of your feelings), maybe you need to reconsider who you're hanging out with

you sound like you'd do what the friend did

honestly, i avoid talking to guys? lol i usually admire from afar. i just can't really make any assumptions about what the friend was thinking when she approached that guy and in the end it's just one guy. no big loss.

yeah the guy is a nobody and i don't think he's my friend's type anyway. i just found it really low because she knows how bad i am at social events and i actually went to this one and was doing fine and this happens and it just ruined me. not like i'm scarred by social events now but it was never easy for me to go out and mingle like it is for her. she's never done anything like this before - she's one of my closest friends and she's really nice/good to be but this incident is a huge shock, not only to our friendship but to me in general because i have a lot of issues sigh

idk, it reads to me like one of those wacky movie misunderstandings where she may have been trying to get a read on this guy for you if she knew how awkward and uncertain you were about being social and ended up finding something likable about him herself. i don't want to make assumptions about her though, whether it's excusing her or attacking her, so i really do advise talking this out with her since according to you, she's a good friend and knows what you're struggling with.

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(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 03:55 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 04:04 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 04:09 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 04:15 (UTC) - Expand

objectively that sounds like a pretty shitty thing to have done :\ honestly if it were me, i'd probably just never tell that friend anything about my feelings ever again and let it go

yeah this is my most likely scenario rn because i don't want to bring it up. it'd just reenforce how low my self esteem is in general

yeah i have a lot of trouble with socializing and i have a few friends who just bask in it lol so i know how much it hurts anon. you feel paranoid that you might be overthinking things but at the same time, you just feel so betrayed. the best advice i could offer you is that maybe you have really good taste in guys? and he bought you a drink! so that's something, you're not completely helpless :( i'd probably keep the guys that've caught my attention quiet next time

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 03:57 (UTC) - Expand

there's a chance that she didn't even realise what she'd done tbh. i had a friend who, without fail, would always become interested in a guy as soon as i showed interest

It wasn't malicious and i was being over-sensitive, but it was just easier to keep it to myself or be more selective in who i told lol

yes, i really doubt it was malicious but she's the type of person who is sociable and she has lots of self confidence and she's basically everything i am not lol. my lips are sealed the next time, if there is one

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(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 03:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 04:05 (UTC) - Expand

don't bring it up with her but take it as a lesson to never tell friends about your feelings for someone before anything happens because people end up being attracted to others unintentionally when brought to light =/

i think you have every right to be sensitive about the issue though, that is seriously unfortunate for your friend to have done that

+1 and it's not even about trying to be mean or calling dibs on people, just if you notice someone and point it it, other people will notice too

i will chalk this up to a life lesson learnt and move onwards with life o7

she did offer me cake yesterday but i was lolno ty and i think that's the extent of my passive-aggressiveness because we both know i love cake sobs

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 04:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 04:11 (UTC) - Expand

aw anon don't take it so personally :( distract yourself and feel better soon, don't dwell on your insecurity it does you nothing :(

i've had 2 days to cool off already and i'm mostly fine now! i've wallowed in enough self-doubt and angst and i'm going out with her later :)

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-28 04:09 (UTC) - Expand

i disagree that you should never tell a friend about boys that you like...but there are certain friends who you know when not to trust.

if you aren't going to confront her about it, then just recognize that she has a problem and move on. you know that she has a compulsion to out-do you, which implies that she probably has self-esteem problems that she's compensating for, too. she didn't mean to outright hurt you, she's just messed up? i have friends like this and sometimes i really want to kill them, but then i take a deep breath and remember that they're humans and they're just as fucked up as me and i feel much more forgiving.

i see the difference being telling someone something about a guy in the heat of the moment vs a guy i've been crushing on for a longer time. the second one is more off-limits while the first is pretty much a free for all

i like this reasoning! yes i think i shall keep this frame of thought but the thing that also annoys me is that my other friends recognize her sensitive issues and not mine, because i used to keep it buried in. so they make concessions for her but not for me but this is my fault and not anyone else's even though i've discussed my issues with them recently. things will be fine

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