part thirty nine

[kficanon]

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Comments

ficmix review thread, posts #5-6

[(Anonymous)]

same as the previous two. have at!

#5, jaejoong/boa, jaejoong/yoona

[(Anonymous)]

i seriously enjoyed this fic! the pacing was perfect for the slow, painful build up of the relationship between the main three, and the resolution didn't feel rushed. i actually felt really good at the end of the story, which is not at all what i'm used to feeling when i read anything having to do with incest. i feel that the author did a good job portraying the taboo and all of the complicated feelings between jaejoong, boa and yoona. i am not familiar with any of these idols but the characterization felt rich and believable all around.

the only points of criticism i have are about the writing itself. the author should work on sentence variety as a lot of the sentences relied on a good number of commas and were often structured similarly. i think cutting down a few of the long, almost run-on sentences could have produced some short, simple sentences that had a stronger impact.

definitely worth reading! good job to this remixer.

#6, baekhyun/chanyeol

[(Anonymous)]

the plot was definitely interesting. i admit towards the middle i started skimming more than reading closely, but i was definitely interested and wanted to see how it ended. i thought the bits of chanyeol and baekhyun were a bit too lengthy, which is probably why i started skimming. the pace wasn't perfect, but i've read much worse. the violence of the circus fell a little flat because it just felt overly dramatic to me? i don't know how to explain it, but it just felt so extreme without the systems in place being fleshed out a little more.